Diaries from the Cocoon, 07/29/23

It’s been a little over one month since starting my year in chrysalis. To date I’ve completed 1 house project (started two additional), 12 online coaching courses, 1 (now 2) blog posts, read 6 books, and have yet to visit a Florida State Park.

Reading every morning after waking up (refusing to check my phone) has been super helpful for my mindset and I think I’ll keep that habit even after the year is up. Taking these online coaching courses has been a little difficult, mostly because I’m impatient and want to get to coaching already. I’m so great at seeing and believing in big ideas, but waiting for the “right time” eats away at my soul a little every day. The heat and humidity in Florida has me planning my state parks trips for the winter months - we’ll see if I can prioritize my time in nature when it’s a little more tolerable. My weight loss has been steady, one pound a week, but again, my impatience makes the year-long goal of 60 pounds seem impossible - even though the evidence is on the scale every week. It’s just such. . . small evidence. BUT - I want this weight loss to be sustainable this time so I’m keeping at it!

The whole impatience thing got to me and I felt trapped where I am this last week. It’s felt futile - even with the evidence of my accomplishments right there in writing and my “already read books” shelf. Why don’t I trust the evidence? What inside me nags at me to focus on the lack? I’ll be trying to focus on the good from now on.

Before this “40 Under 40” year I started meditating every morning when I wake up and as I fall asleep. Guided meditations. I feel that, and good nutrition has been a huge help in my holistic mental health approach. Feeding my body and my mind the good stuff instead of the easy stuff is something I hope to keep up for the rest of my time here on Earth. Moving my body regularly with 5 minute walks every 2 hours has been good for my mind and body as well.

I haven’t been spending much time on art, which I feel has been detrimental to my positive attitude. Something about making creative efforts regularly in my life fuels me. I want to add the time and space to create in my weekly life - even if it’s the house projects I have in mind. So far I’ve done a lot of de-cluttering and organizing which has been salve to my sometimes-chaotic soul - but I think I need the creative process too.

Budgeting my time with a full time job has been surprisingly easy. Knowing I leave work at work then can do what fills my cup in the early AM and evening has been super helpful. I used to let work drag with me for the rest of the night but now I’m able to hit a reset button of sorts in my mind that makes it easier to do things I enjoy rather than checking out and just watching TV. 

I’m only one month into twelve and it’s interesting to notice the little shifts that are taking place. Still, my neuro-divergent brain sneaks in and says it’s not enough, but ya know what? Eff that, I’m making strides toward my goals and I should celebrate that!

So here’s to one month down, eleven to go and excitement about the possibilities!

Til next time!

Cheers to creating,

Jessie